Life given in love: Finding meaning in monastic life

At first glance, monastic life can seem like a contradiction to the modern world – quiet in an age of noise, stable in a culture that prizes constant movement, rooted in prayer when productivity is often measured by speed and visibility. Families may wonder if a woman is giving up too much, hiding from the world or opening herself to a life of loneliness.

Yet within the monastery of the Benedictine Sisters of Perpetual Adoration, a different truth consistently reveals itself. This life is not defined by what is left behind, but by what is embraced. This includes a deep relationship with God, a rhythm of prayer that holds the world in tender care and a community where love is lived deliberately and imperfectly every day.

For these Benedictine Sisters, meaning is not something abstract or distant. It is discovered in the ordinary – prayer at dawn, work done quietly, shared meals, laughter and even struggle. It is a life given in love, and in return, one that gives life back abundantly.

Where the Call Begins

Vocation rarely arrives with loud fanfare, a bolt of lightning or a clear message. More often, it comes as a whisper – a sense of recognition, a longing that refuses to fade.

For Sister Pat Nyquist, OSB, that whisper first stirred during childhood summers in a small rural parish. Once public school ended, catechism school filled the first two weeks of vacation. Benedictine Sisters arrived to teach, bringing stories of Scripture, prayer and faith alive for young minds.

“I loved those two weeks,” Sister Pat remembers. “Memorizing prayers and the commandments was exciting. Receiving holy cards as prizes felt meaningful.”

But what truly lingered was not the structure or rewards – it was the Sisters themselves.

“The joy and love they exhibited was authentic,” Sister Pat said. “I felt a holiness there.”

Even as a child, she sensed something she could not yet name: a desire for a deeper relationship with God. She began carving out quiet moments on her own, learning to be still, to notice creation and to feel God’s presence. Life moved forward as expected – education, a career in accounting, independence, friendships, church involvement. From the outside, it was a good and full life. Over time, another truth emerged.

“I began to feel a longing for deeper meaning,” she said.

That longing eventually led her to explore religious life seriously. There was hesitation, she admits – a reckoning with the perceived “cost” of such a commitment. But that fear slowly gave way to clarity.

“The more time I spent with the Sisters, the more that hesitancy receded,” she said.

Now, after more than 50 years living the Benedictine way of contemplative life, her reflection is steady and certain.

“The blessings received far exceed any cost I may have paid,” she asserted.

When the Question Returns

Not every vocation announces itself early. Sometimes the call waits – patient, persistent – until life has unfolded enough for a person to hear it clearly.

Sister Sophia Becker, OSB first thought of religious life in eighth grade, then promptly set the idea aside amid the activities and ambitions of youth. It wasn’t until her thirties, after years of teaching and a transition into Catholic education, that the question resurfaced.

“In hindsight, God was directing all of it,” she said.

Mentors, prayer and time allowed the idea to deepen. She visited several communities, including the Benedictine Sisters’ monastery in Clyde.

“I realized it was better to try than to think my way into the ‘right’ place,” she explains. “It’s a journey of both the heart and the head.”

That journey was not without disruption. She left during her novitiate period, feeling uncertain, unmoored, searching.

“I was totally lost,” she admitted. But that moment became decisive. “God was tired of me sitting on the fence. I had to choose – this life, or something else.”

What followed was not instant ease, but profound grounding.

“God has expanded my heart,” she said. “Prayer – Eucharist, Divine Office, adoration, lectio divina – anchors everything. In this life, even the smallest tasks become sacred. Whether I’m vacuuming a hallway, cooking Sunday dinner or glazing a piece of pottery, it all becomes prayer.”

A Modern ‘Yes’

For Novice Amberina, discernment unfolded in the midst of contemporary life. She’d built a career as a computer programmer, stayed close to family, volunteered at her parish, served meals to the homeless and spent regular time in adoration at a 24-hour chapel.

However, something felt unfinished. Dating never blossomed into the long-term and committed love her friends had found. The sense of absence became harder to ignore. One former boyfriend – a non-believer and a supporter of her vocation – named it with surprising clarity.

“He told me, ‘How can I compete with Jesus? You’d rather be at the adoration chapel than be with me,’” she recalled.

Her “yes” did not come all at once. It came through retreats, daily Mass after churches reopened during COVID and finally a weeklong monastic experience.

“I desired to say ‘yes’ to anything Christ-centered,” she said.

By the end of that monastic week, her heart was clear with understanding.

“I knew,” she said, “that the Lord was who I wanted to love for the rest of my life.”

Now, her joy is tangible and grounded. “Mass is my ultimate joy,” she said, followed closely by adoration. She understands her purpose simply and profoundly.

“To pray for the world when sometimes there are no words,” she said. “My hands cannot heal the world – but I can pray to the One who can.”

Life Inside the Monastery

One of the most common misconceptions about monastic life is that it is rigid, lonely or removed from reality. In truth, the monastery is alive with rhythm and humanity.

Days are shaped by prayer. Lectio divina, lauds, Mass, adoration and the Divine Office marking the hours. Between prayers come work, study, caregiving, shared meals and rest. Silence is present, but it is not empty. It is attentive. Community life, too, is real and refining.

“As much as some Sisters are a cross for me,” Novice Amberina said candidly, “I am a cross for them.”

This honesty is not a flaw – it is the very place where love is practiced. Patience, forgiveness, humility and humor are learned daily.

“There are night owls here,” Sister Sophia added, recalling her early surprise when hallways emptied after Compline. 

“When I first visited the monastery, I was in awe of how all the Sisters went to their rooms and went to bed,” she said. “Little did I know that we have night owls in the monastery and people who do their best work in the evening. Sisters may scatter but they are still busy even after the stars appear.”

Families Along the Way

For families, a loved one’s discernment can stir fear, confusion or grief over imagined futures. These feelings are neither dismissed nor judged. They are honored.

Reactions range widely. Some families are immediately supportive; others need time. What often brings peace is seeing the life itself.

“When my family comes and sees me here – praying, laughing, living – they understand,” Novice Amberina said. “They see that my life isn’t smaller. It’s fuller.”

Sister Sophia’s father died before she even began seeking religious life in earnest, but she has always felt his supportive prayers from heaven.

“My family first had mixed feelings about my vocation,” she added. “However, my mom told me that she and my dad had talked about a vocation to religious life for me, but they never shared it with me. I don’t know what they saw or experienced in me that made them think that. My friends were supportive of the idea but they all thought I would enter a teaching community. When I told them about my discernment process, they were taken aback that teaching was not among the ministries that drew me in but it was Eucharist, adoration and community life that did.”

Sister Sophia remembered her sister saying she was okay with the vocation once she saw how happy she was. That recognition mattered deeply. Acceptance, she noted, grows slowly, gently, and differently for each person.

For Those Who Are Wondering

To women discerning religious life, the Sisters offer reassurance rather than urgency.

“You’ll never know until you visit,” Novice Amberina said. “Fear is not of the Lord.” 

Within the monastery of the Benedictine Sisters, meaning is not found in grand gestures. It is discovered slowly – in faithfulness, in prayer that holds the world, in love chosen again and again.

This life, given in love, is not an escape from the world. It is a way of standing within it – steadfast, prayerful and hope-filled – trusting that even in silence, something holy is always unfolding.

Discernment requires prayer, spiritual direction courage – and freedom. To families walking alongside someone discerning, the invitation is to remain curious, loving and open. Trust the fruit. Watch for joy, peace and a heart expanding in love.

As Sister Sophia reflected, “God does not force anyone. A vocation is an invitation. If you trust that invitation, your life will change – not by shrinking, but by widening your heart to hold more of God’s love.”